Fishing Joy

I like to go fishing. I think it's fun. I learned how to cast the line from my dad. He took a fly fishing lesson one day. I have no clue what that is. I think fly fishing is when you get in a plane over the pond and fish. You have to just do regular fishing, but in a plane through a window. Why take a lesson is because you have to reel them - the fish - in fast.

I have never fished in a boat. On my birthday when I turned five, we went to a fishing place and caught a lot of fish. My dad is the one who puts on all the hooks and bobbers (boobers). One year, for my dad's birthday, I got him a new fishing pole. The first time he used it, he got it stuck in a tree! I like to go fishing. It is fun. I guess for my dad's next birthday, I will give him fishing pole strings!

Tip: Go fishing at dawn and get more fish. Why? Because fish are still asleep.

Tip 2: When you have good skills, you don't catch boots!

Steak Restaurant Dancing

One day, we went to a steak restaurant. I ordered the rib basket. And then the workers turned up the music and started dancing. They were kicking and turning and pretending to lasso stuff. I was afraid they were going to kick somebody's plate off of the table. It was crazy!

Here are a few examples that this dancing mess is a bad idea.

1. Someone needs to go to the bathroom and they're kicking around in the way.

2. You may need something like butter and your food gets cold because they're over there dancing like a bunch of crazy idiots.

3. And while they're over there flapping around, a bad guy could go and steal all the money from the cash register.

4. Some of the food could boil over in the pot in the kitchen while they are trying to entertain you. And I'm not very entertained.

So, if you go to a steak restaurant and the music goes up and the workers surprise you by dancing, you better keep your plates far from the edge or they may be kicked off. And many other tragedies could happen, too.

Pinwheel Fun

Here's a tip to the fun - with a pinwheel.

1. First bring a pinwheel in a car.

2. Go and open a window.

3. Stick it out.

4. While driving, the pinwheel will turn and make it fun.

5. Now, don't lose it.

It flies better in a hurricane or a tornado.

Stuff For Laughing

Today is joke day!

What does the sea like to eat?

Fish and ships {I made this one up myself.}

Knock. Knock.

Who's there?

Unaware.

Unaware who?

Your unaware is showing!

Squirrel: Have you heard the story about the skunk?

Chipmunk: No.

Squirrel: Never mind. It stinks.

Ha, ha, ha.

You are driving. Me - crazy. (cat speaking)

One day me and my mom left the SPCA from one of my meetings. This lady was leaving, too, in front of us. She had a cat, that was not in a carrier. She was trying to drive. The cat was climbing all over the car, which made her stop in the middle of the road. Then she zoomed off. We caught up with her around the corner. She had pulled over. The cat was now on her head! It was very funny.

Always remember, when you are driving somewhere, put your cat in a carrier, because cats don't like brakes. Cat hats are also not a safe way to drive.

Dragnet

Yesterday on Dragnet, I watched one where this guy was stealing superhero posters from movie theaters. He dressed in a cape, hat and like a superhero. He made his costume from his mother's dresses. What he called himself was the Crimson Crusader.

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He said his father left him when he was 1. His mom was poor. He was punched and his friends threw his school books in the trash. He was very sad. I was sad for him, too. He decided to become a superhero, because he thought he was close to the superheroes. He is all grown up now and is in a lot of trouble.

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The lesson of this show is not to be mean to kids. They might grow up to be a freak.

"God's The Creator"

Here is a song I made up called "God's The Creator".

God, God is the creator.

He made me and you.

He even made the president.

He made everything from man to beast,

To teddy bears to roast beef.

God is the greatest.

{repeat three times}

The greatest. The greatest.

{repeat whole song three times}

You can count on him.

God, God, the creator.

This song should be sung only while using these following instruments: harp, flute, triangle, guitar and violin. I wish Bob Dylan would record this song for my daddy.

Caboodle Ranch

I would like to tell you about Caboodle Ranch. Caboodle Ranch is a place where cats roam freely and is owned by a guy named Craig. He started it for homeless cats to have a place to sleep, eat and be loved. There are cat trails, a kitty city hall, a church, kitty stores and more. They are just little cat buildings he built for them. He has about 500 cats, I think. Go to his website {http://www.caboodleranch.com/Index.html} and donate money for him to feed and keep the cats. He has merchandise, too. You may need a cute kitty t-shirt or mug or something and it helps the cats!

He named all of these cats. He has no favorite - all are his favorite. It is in Florida. I do not live anywhere near there. I would like to visit there and wish I could volunteer to do stuff. Please I would love you to donate. Please for the cats nine lives!

All that you can see at dinner time is a swarm of cat tails. It really touches my heart for a guy to do so much to love and care for all these cats.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VswBKrPuAQ

80s Video Reviews, #2

When I did this last time, people liked it - so here are some more video reviews.

"Karma Chameleon" - Culture Club

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znE6sA40lmY

The video starts out with Boy George on a haystack in the middle of the country. All these people are around him waiting for a boat called The Chameleon. Well, it gets there and this guy is stealing jewelry. At first on the boat, he is playing cards and steals the checkers. Meanwhile, Boy George is singing through a window, because they won't let him in. Some girls go and tackle the bad guy and make him walk the plank. Then these girls who are in red and gold and green {like in the song} dresses are dancing with Boy George while he's singing. Karma Chameleon! This is a good video.

"Beat It" - Michael Jackson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkGOiS75Lwk

There is a lunch counter where this guy gets up and slaps another guy. Then they follow each other and they go get a lot of people. The people from the pool hall did the same thing. So it is the lunch counter gang vs. the pool hall gang. Now there is two groups and they have been walking down the street. Meanwhile, Michael Jackson is in bed. He gets up and puts on a red jacket and goes out into the hall and does a silly dance. Then at the same time, the two groups have met at a garage. They, then, tie the leaders together and are having a knife fight. Michael goes to the lunch counter and the pool hall to look for his friends. Then he goes to the garage and starts dancing. This made the knife fight be over. I thought it was hilarious. He turned a fight into a disco!

"We're Not Gonna Take It" - Twisted Sister

http://www.spike.com/video/were-not-gonna-take/2791000?ns=1

A kid was playing on his guitar, when his dad came in and yelled at him. Then he asked the kid what he wanted to do. The boy said "I want to rock!" as he strummed his guitar. His dad flew out of the window. Then the kid spun around and turned into the Twisted Sister guy and he nodded and his brothers turned into the band. And the dad just flew out the window some more. And every time, his wife sprinkled water on his face.

The band was really freaky and they looked creepy in all that make-up. That is why girls wear make-up, because boys don't know how to put it on. And they don't know how to wear their hair, either.

The Duel

Another one of my favorite poems is the Gingham Dog and the Calico Cat (or The Duel) by Eugene Field. I want to share it with you today.

The gingham dog and the calico cat

Side by side on the table sat;

'Twas half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)

Nor one nor t'other had slept a wink!

The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plate

Appeared to know as sure as fate

There was going to be a terrible spat.

(I wasn't there; I simply state

What was told to me by the Chinese plate!)

The gingham dog went "bow-wow-wow!"

And the calico cat replied "mee-ow!"

The air was littered, an hour or so,

With bits of gingham and calico,

While the old Dutch clock in the chimneyplace

Up with its hands before its face,

For it always dreaded a family row!

(Now mind: I'm only telling you

What the old Dutch clock declares is true!)

The Chinese plate looked very blue.

And wailed, "Oh dear! What shall we do!"

But the gingham dog and the calico cat

Wallowed this way and tumbled that,

Employing every tooth and claw

In the awfullest way you ever saw -

And, oh! how the gingham and calico flew!

(Don't fancy I exaggerate!

I got my news from the Chinese plate!)

Next morning, where the two had sat,

They found no trace of dog or cat;

And some folks think unto this day

That burglars stole that pair away!

But the truth about the cat and pup

Is this: they ate each other up!

Now what do you really think of that!

(The old Dutch clock it told me so,

And that is how I came to know.)

Ninja Fights Bullseye Bunnington

Ninja Bunny is a cop in a place called Bunnytown and he uses karate instead of guns. Bullseye Bunnington, a thief, came to town and stole books, blankets, bunny stuffed animals, money and paper, but worst of all - cookies. He had been stealing batches of peanut butter cookies, especially. Everybody was afraid that they would never eat a cookie again, because of him. What he would do first was sneak in some place, go under the table, crawl up the table leg, snatch a cookie, go back under the table and then sneak out. But one day, Ninja set a trap. He put a batch of Bullseye's favorite peanut butter cookies out. When Bullseye comes in he will fall in the dungeon into the trap. With Ninja waiting, finally, he comes and falls into the trap. Ninja Bunny did some black belt moves on him and Bullseye went flat on the floor. He saved the people and the bunnies from Bullseye.

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Now in Bunnytown, the bunnies have a cookie holiday called "Crumby Day". They go and get Bullseye and put him in a dunking booth. But you throw cookies instead of balls at the target. Every bunny bakes cookies and brings them down where they celebrate and they eat. They also give some to Bullseye while he plays "bullseye".

(A story to go along with a couple of pictures found on the internet.)

Peanut Facts

Peanuts are a very healthy treat, so it means peanut butter is healthy, too. (I have a recipe to make peanut butter.)

Did you know that the Inca Indians were the first people to make peanut butter? And did you know that Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (of cereal fame) was the first to make a brand of peanut butter?

Did you know that a peanut is not a nut? It's a legume and is involved with the pea family, so that's why it's called a peanut.

The kinds of peanuts are the Runner Peanut, Spanish Peanut, Valencia Peanut and the Virginia Peanut. Peanuts are sometimes called the Goober, Groundnut, Monkeynut, Earthnut, Ground Pea, Mani {my-knee}, Fystiki {fee-stee-kee}, Cacahuete {ka-ka-wet}, Erdnuss {aird-noose} and Zemlyaney Grek {zem-ya-nay-arek}.

People with peanut allergies have to be careful, because peanuts are in so many things. Peanuts are used for a lot of stuff. And you need to know not to eat the Goofy Goober from Spongebob.

(This is from research done for a report on the peanut for school.)

No More Dirty Kitties

Here's how to wash a cat.

1. Get a towel and fill a small tub with water. Make sure the cat fits.

2. Go find the cat, who is probably hiding under the bed.

3. Put the soap in the tub and drop cat in.

4. Then kitty has to get a bath.

5. Put soap on cat and rub.

6. Rinse.

7. Take cat out to dry it.

8. Leave cat in bathroom until it is completly dry and then let the kitty out.

Be careful because kitty may climb the shower curtain to try and get away. If it does not cooperate, tell it how important baths are. Wear armor when you give a cat a bath. Seriously! Warning: the cat may hate you for two hours before it is dry. And it might put it's wet body on your pillow.

This is also the method that you can use to give a chicken a bath.

St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I want to tell you about Patrick. Well, he drove the snakes out of Ireland. Woo hoo! He was captured and sold as a slave when he was only 16. He spent 6 years as a slave. He escaped and became a person who goes around and tells people about God. He said that on a shamrock leaf - the first leaf petal is the Father, the second is the Son and the third is the Holy Spirit. The whole shamrock leaf represented God.

You need to wear green if you are Irish or if your ancestors are Irish. You know there are 34 million Americans that have Irish ancestors. Well, I am one of them. You will get pinched if you don't wear green something. I don't know why Irish people pinch. I apologize for my Irish people.

You need to remember, it's not Patrick Star from Spongebob. He is not Irish. He's just stupid.

Joke: When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato? When it's a French fry. Ha, ha, ha.

Phantom Empire

One of my favorite black and white movie serials is "The Phantom Empire" starring Gene Autry with Frankie Darro and Betsy King Ross. {My mom calls it Phantom Opera.} It was set in the old west. Gene Autry has to be at Radio Ranch by two o'clock. His kid friends, Betsy and Frankie Baxter, have seen the Thunder Riders. There's an underground world called Murania, where the Thunder Riders live and they are ruled by a queen. Gene got into trouble because some scientists loaded his gun for a fake movie scene and Gene killed the guy, who was Frankie's and Betsy's father on accident. The kids decided to make a club called the Junior Thunder Riders. Betsy and Frankie knew that Gene didn't kill their father on purpose. The real Thunder Riders captured Gene and took him to the underground world. He was saved from the death chamber by Lord Argo. He got out of Murania. Then the kids wound up in Murania. Gene Autry's friends, Pete and Oscar, helped find Murania and tried to save them. The kids almost killed themselves by setting off electric rays to open the door. They still lived.

Then Gene Autry spilled the beans about who let him out of the death chamber. There was a war between the queen and Argo. Argo put the queen in chains. She was going to get melted. Gene Autry helped her. Then Argo and his men were locked up in the room with the melter. Argo was going to melt the door down. He pushed the switch which would make the melter go crazy. The queen let Gene and his friends out of Murania and she died with her people as the melter melted Murania. In Murania, they used robots and they used air masks to breath when on the earth. The movie serial is divided into chapters. There are 12 chapters. Pronunciation for Murania is - "mur" like in "murder and "ania" like in "mania". This was a very exciting movie serial, because it has cliffhangers. Don't go down there, you'll get melted!

Silken Dollar (or The Amazing Presley)

I want to teach you a magic trick I learned. Things you will need:

1. A fake thumb,

2. Red handkerchief,

3. An audience with money, and

4. An assistant.

What you do when you are not in sight is put the handkerchief in the fake thumb. Next, put the thumb on. When performing, ask the assistant to bring a dollar bill or ask the audience {don't forget to give it back!} Then, wrap the dollar bill around the fake thumb. Slide the thumb down while holding the dollar. Now, pull the handkerchief out of the thumb and you did it! Abracadabra, frogs and toads (magic words!) You can use the thumb to hide the food you don't want to eat at dinner, too.

Meatball Sub

Today, I had my first meatball sub. It was delicious. It had large meatballs, sauce and cheese. It tasted like spaghetti on a bun without the spaghetti. I would recommend it to anyone. You can get them at most Italian restaurants and some sub places, but they might not taste the same. I wonder if anyone makes a macaroni and cheese sub.

80s Video Reviews

"Safety Dance" - Men Without Hats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg
I like this song. You can sing it as soon as you listen to it once and it makes you want to dance. Can you make a big "S" with your hands? It's one of the moves. You put one of your hands on the top and the other on the bottom and freeze. The singer is parading around with a bunch of freaks, trying to make people do the safety dance. Es, es, es, es, ay, ay, ay, ay . . .

"Come On Eileen" - Dexy's Midnight Riders
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXLHUThBib8
There's a town where everyone wears overalls and looks like they never have taken a shower. A guy has some friends trying to get this lady named Eileen. Her friend is saying "Come on Eileen". The guy and his friends are saying "Come on Eileen". She doesn't know what to do, I guess, but she goes with her friend instead. Later the guy catches her. I like the song and video, but I don't like that they are all dirty.

"Girls Just Want To Have Fun" - Cyndi Lauper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mft3_A6qtRA
A girl {teenaged} was supposed (spost) to be home, but she was dancing in the road. She came and danced around her mother in the kitchen, got yelled at by her father and called up all her friends. They all got into floppy dresses and danced all around town in the streets. They caught some cute boys and went back to her house. They piled into her room and partied. I love this song and the video. Girls DO just want to have fun.

Bugs

I learned about bugs in a book called "The Insect World." I learned about termites. The queen termite lays all the eggs. The king rules. Some termites are born to be guards. They look different and they don't eat much or sleep much.

Bees live most differently than those termites. They don't have a king - only a queen. The queen stings her royal sisters to death! When a bee finds a flower patch he will go back home and do a dance to tell the other bees where it is.

Caterpillars turn into butterflies. That is called a "metamorphosis" ("medomorfus"). What happens is the caterpillar gets in a cocoon and it comes out a butterfly. Magic! Well under the skin on a caterpillar is a butterfly. They shed their skin.

Did you know a wasp or yellow jacket or hornet - only the female stings or sucks blood?

An ant city is weird. There is only a queen. The guards are nice when another bug comes and says it's hungry and can't find food. They toss out some food for them. Did you know an ant talks with it's antennae?

I'm not going to talk about spiders. Creepy!!! I know a few things about bugs and one thing is that I don't like them. They make me run and my daddy has to kill them.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my 8th birthday. I am having a giant birthday party with my friends. I have a huge Spongebob cake. I miss being 7, but 8 is great!

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I heard a joke I would like to tell you. Why do numbers not like 7? Because 7 ate (eight) 9!

Happy Birthday to me!

The Lord's Prayer

In church, I am memorizing The Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13.

"Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and glory forever. Amen."

It is important to remember this to make Jesus happy and for him to forgive us of our sins and for us to pray right. {Try to remember this by heart.} You have to pray because God doesn't have a cell phone or a mailbox or an e-mail address!

Bubby

My other grandma, Bubby (this is what I called her instead of grandma or Linda), died two years ago on March 9, 2007, right before I turned six. She was my dad's mom. As an angel, she did a lot of tricks to us the day of her funeral, like messing up my dad's glasses, busting my mom's necklace and just letting us know she was there.

She loved birds and birdhouses. When she died, I got some of her birdhouses. She took me to a Sesame Street show when I was two, I think. Whenever it comes to town now, I always enter the coloring contest. She died of cancer. She had to lose an eye and her hair, but she was still beautiful to me and I still loved her very much.

Today is a very sad day for all of my family and we miss her very much and love her very much. But she is in a good place now as a beautiful angel. {Bubby, I love you.}

Bubble Party

Here are some tips, which make a good time in the bath.

1. Add bubbles.

2. Get stuff from the kitchen - like spoons and bowls. Cook stuff - like your own bubble soup recipe. Here is my recipe for bubble soup.

Get a large bowl. Pour a pitcher of milk {bubbles} in. Crack 10 eggs {balls of bubbles}. Mix batter. Get some salt and pepper {bubbles}. Put a gallon of sugar, flour and spice and everything nice {bubbles}. Mix. Drop a ton of veggies and fruit {more bubbles} in and stir. Put on the stove {the edge of the tub} for 356 hours and 1,100,000 degrees.

3. Play music.

4. Play with a toy boat.

5. You can use bathtub paint on the walls. It washes off.

6. You can get all kinds of shapes, sizes and colors of rubber duckies and play duck family or duck races.

5. Get a water gun and fill it. Shoot anything you want in the bathroom, if no one knows.

But most of all, don't let your cat jump in the tub. You will hate your whole, entire life.

Pizza Recipe

I went to a cooking class last year and I made this snack pizza. I will tell you the recipe.

Ingredients:
1. Biscuit Dough (any kind you like, but refrigerated cans are best)
2. Hamburger
3. Iodized Salt
4. Garlic
5. Oregano
6. Sauce
7. Cheese

Directions:
1. Get some biscuit dough.
2. Flat it, so that it's not too fat or too skinny.
3. Cook some hamburger.
4. Put in iodized salt, garlic and oregano in the hamburger.
5. Get some sauce.
6. Put the hamburger down on the dough.
7. Then put the sauce on next.
8. And last put the cheese on.
9. Put the pizzas in the oven at some temperature for at least 10 minutes.
10. Don't let them burn.

I hope you enjoy this thing that kids usually love.

(Don't try this at home.)

It's Been 9 Years

My grandma, who is my mom's mom, passed away on this date - March 5, 2000. I was born in 2001, so I never saw her. We say that she picked me out for my mom in Heaven. My mom named my middle name after my grandma.

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She loved the Beatles and her favorite one was Paul McCartney. Her favorite song was "Yesterday" and they played it at her funeral. They also played "Let It Be" at her funeral. It fit perfectly - the name in it (Mary) and everything.

I love her even if I never saw her. She's in the best place now.

(Presley gave me a card this morning with a note in it. I wanted to share it here. "Dear Mama, I am sorry you are sad about your mom. She has to be happy up there for so many years. I know she doesn't like her daughter being sad. She's there. Her body is the only thing that's dead. Her soul isn't. She's an angel." What true, sweet words.)

Smokey Bear

I love Smokey Bear. When the State Fair comes, he is there in the woods preventing forest fires. Here are some tips that I remember from his book: break matches and hold them until they're cold; always drown a fire and if you see that a cigarette is still smoking - step on it and crush it, because it will cause a fire. His true story is that he was a little cub. He walked around without his mother, when she was asleep. Then some careless person came and set a fire! Animals ran and Smokey climbed a tree. His mother died. People stopped the fire and saved Smokey. They took him out and bandaged him and helped him. Then he was better and more fur grew over the burnt spots. He got a ranger hat and the ranger named him Smokey. It fit him perfectly. Now he's grown up and protects against forest fires. Only you can prevent wild fires!

Woodsy Owl is his friend. He says "No litter!". I do, too!

I Love Lucy!

The show "I Love Lucy" is funny and at the top of my list! My favorite episode is the candy factory one. They are all hilarious, I think. My dad says he likes Fred, but me and my mom like Lucy and Ethel. The one where Lucy has to put on a play is funny. She has to rent the equipment and stuff for the play and she's the gypsy queen. Then all the people she rented the stuff from come and takes the stuff back and even Lucy Ricardo! She didn't pay her bill.

I watched the one where they were going to Hollywood, California for Ricky to do his movie there. They were very hungry. So, they found a raggedy old shack where there was an old man running the run-down joint. They ordered some food and he would say he didn't have it. And every time they ordered something, he said he didn't have it. They asked what he did have and he said the special. Lucy asked "What's the special?" He said it was a cheese sandwich. So, they ordered the special and it was a week old and was like wax. They drove away. Lucy drove them in a circle and wound up back there - so they rented a cabin. The cabin had a small bathroom and the big bed had a big dip in it so they fell into the middle of it. When a train would go by the whole thing would shake and the bed would hop over to the bunkbeds and they wound up being together. It cost them $16 to stay there and it was a ripoff. They tried to get away, but they set off the burglar alarm. The man let them go, but he had stolen their steering wheel. He told them they could buy it for $16. They finally got out of that rat trap, but in their PJ's.

I have all the episodes on DVD and I watch them when I can. If you want to laugh, you should watch them. I love that Lucy!

Cat Burglar Gets Arrested By Boston Terrier-12!

Once upon a time, a cat burglar was around. His name was Guncat. Guncat was mean, but in disguise, he was nice. He stole mice and pillows and milk and fish and cat toys and cat brushes and worst of all, kittens.

One day, when Guncat was loose in his nice cat disguise, he was singing in a band. He was singing "Meow, Meow, Meow." Then suddenly, he stopped and left. A new litter of kittens had just been born to a mother cat named Miss Clawdy. He went and stole them. Pete Walloy came with Jim Weed and captured him as fast they could. Boston Terrier-12 is the best! By arresting Guncat, they finally broke the crime spree.

(This story was written to go along with this picture that I found on the internet.)

Little Rascals

I like the shows by the Little Rascals (or Our Gang). My favorite kids are Stymie and Spanky. Their dog Petey is funny. The gang has lots of crazy inventions. They also have a crazy mule that if he hears an alarm clock ring, he will sit and if you sneeze, he will run after you. Sometimes he winds up getting drunk off of rubbing alcohol and he kicks his back legs up and down like a freak. Ha. Ha. The kids are crazy and do a lot of crazy things. You should watch their show and see all of the cool gadgets and stuff they make. I have been watching the older ones without Alfalfa, but I've seen some with him and I'll get around to seeing his episodes later. The Little Rascals (or Our Gang) is about a bunch of little boys and girls who get into mischief. The adults think the kids don't know anything, but they turn out being smarter than the adults. You would love them very much. The gang, the fun and the laughs are the reason I think so.